Patience

I would like to say I'm a patient person. I am fine with waiting in line. I rarely curse in traffic. And I usually realize everyone is Human. However, it would be an understatement to say my patience has been tested the last 5 months. 


Like I mentioned in my last post, 6 months ago, I was a totally different Shay. Hardly any responsibilities. My answer when anything got too tough? Walk away. That is how I have always been. A defense mechanism I suppose. Whatever it is, I hate it. This latest challenge, taking care of two kids, is something I haven't walked away from. And something I refuse to walk away from.


I started babysitting Bill's kids to help him out. Started with a few nights a week. Turned into a few days a week. Then it became my full time job. Then Bill and I started dating. Hello random-series-of-events-that-I-never-saw-coming-in-a-million-years. 


Taking care of these kids has been the most challenging and, although hard to remember sometimes, rewarding job I have ever had. At times they are emotional, demanding, cranky, and stubborn. (I am too). Other times they are sweet, thankful, polite, and just want some attention and love. I often find myself losing patience with them when they ask me the same question over and over. Or when they scream at the top of their lungs while I am on the phone. So many times I have had to remind myself, "they are just kids." I am terrified of failing. Scared that these kids will not like me, or I will somehow ruin their lives. But with constant reassurance from Bill, and the kids just out of the blue telling me they like me, or getting upset when I leave, I know that I am doing better at this than I realize. 


Now to the heart of the message. 


Even though I am not their mother, I care about these kids. I spend a lot of time with them. I want them to succeed. I want them to make friends easily, and for schoolwork to be a breeze for them. I hear everyone I know with kids talking about how "advanced" their kid is. And how they just can't believe so-and-so's kid isn't talking/walking/potty trained yet. And it is easy to get caught up in that. Its easy to want to purchase MY BABY CAN READ! and show off your kiddo's talent at the next family get-together. I get it. We live in a competitive world. 


But yesterday, whilst Googling, "What a 4 year old should know before preschool," I stumbled upon this.


"So here, I offer my list of what a 4 year old should know.

1. She should know that she is loved wholly and unconditionally, all of the time.
2. He should know that he is safe and he should know how to keep himself safe in public, with others, and in varied situations. He should know that he can trust his instincts about people and that he never has to do something that doesn't feel right, no matter who is asking. He should know his personal rights and that his family will back them up.
3. She should know how to laugh, act silly, be goofy and use her imagination. She should know that it is always okay to paint the sky orange and give cats 6 legs.
4. He should know his own interests and be encouraged to follow them. If he could care less about learning his numbers, his parents should realize he'll learn them accidentally soon enough and let him immerse himself instead in rocket ships, drawing, dinosaurs or playing in the mud.
5. She should know that the world is magical and that so is she. She should know that she's wonderful, brilliant, creative, compassionate and marvelous. She should know that it's just as worthy to spend the day outside making daisy chains, mud pies and fairy houses as it is to practice phonics. Scratch that-- way more worthy."

(http://www.magicalchildhood.com/articles/4yo.htm)

How true is that? What I wouldn't GIVE to go back to a time when I didn't know my numbers or letters. When I didn't know how awful people can be. When I could crawl in my moms bedroom after a bad dream and she would hold my hand until I fell asleep. When my dad would buy me surprises, simply because he loved me.  

Not saying I don't want to help these kids learn. But I am not going to rush these kids into anything. They learn something new everyday, without my help. They say please, and thank you. And what they teach me from day  to day is even more impressive. I am going to be more patient with them. At the end of the day, I remember how much my parents loved me when I was young. Not how quickly they got me to learn my numbers and letters. Not how well I spoke when I was 3. I am so grateful to them.